Remember when you were 16 and you thought you knew what love was? A guy’s attention was always more important than homework, house chores or even your friends. Having a boyfriend at 16 was like a victory, because if you managed to get one, you achieved that success sooner than most girls your age. You felt empowered and more mature. But, we are always so dumb and naïve at that age. We think we know it all. We think we know what’s best for us, but it’s only a few years later that we realise, we just didn’t. And then there are girls who achieve the ultimate victory – getting an older guy. Even though, he too is just under 21 years old, a boyfriend out of high school was the gold. But little do we realise, he too, lacks experience and maturity. I was that girl once before, and here is my dumb girl story.

February 11^th, 2007.

By then, MySpace was a trend setter. Everybody had a MySpace, just like everybody has a Facebook today. It was the beginning of social media as we knew it. MySpace was a place for music, though. A lot of struggling bands and artists used the network to advertise their work, and promote themselves. So, getting a random ‘friend request’ from a band wasn’t anything strange.

I got a ‘friend request’ from him. Next to his name was his band’s name in brackets. They were a blues band and he played the bass. I accepted the request, but didn’t look into his page any further that day. I logged out.

February 12^th, 2007.

He had left me a private message that I only saw that night. All he said was, ‘thanks for accepting the request, and I hope you enjoy my music.’ Being nice, in return I decided to say, ‘not a problem. I wish you all the best with your music.’ I honestly was not expecting a reply, but to my surprise, his name came up in my inbox again.

‘Really means a lot. Would love your support. A.S.L?’ Completely oblivious to any consequences, I replied, ’16, female, Ringwood/Melbourne. You?’

‘Oh you’re not too far from me. I’m 19, male (duh), Bayswater.’ I gave him a ‘hehe ahh cool’ in reply and thought that would be that. But he kept talking to me, to the point where he asked for my MSN name so he could add me there. We rolled the conversation over to the chat site. The conversation flowed so well that it didn’t occur to me any longer that I was chatting with a complete stranger. I didn’t even realise the time, nor did I want to stop talking to him. We spoke about a lot; our families, school, future ambitions; all that in a three hour conversation, online.

It was 2am and I was ready for bed. I did have school the next day. I was tired, but I didn’t want to stop talking to him. I felt like we connected so well.

February 13^th, 2007.

I woke up a little earlier to switch on my computer and see if he was online. He wasn’t, but he had left me a message. ‘Hey, let’s talk on the phone sometime. You seem pretty cool. What’s your number?’ I wanted to play it as cool as possible, so I waited until after school to decide whether I wanted to give him my number.

I got home from school and jumped online straight away. I stared at the computer monitor, with my chin in the palm of my hands, and my elbows pushed into my desk. Do I give this guy I’ve known for 24 hours, my number?

My best friend at the time, jumped online. I clicked on her name straight away.
‘He asked for my number. I’ve never given my number to any guy before. What do I do?’
‘You give him your number, you idiot. If you think its fine then give him your number. What is the worst that could happen?’

Pondering further, now with the advice of my best friend on my mind, his name popped up and within seconds he came up to me and said ‘hello’. I thought, I must have been the first person he thought of when he decided to jump online. I stopped procrastinating and told him my number in response. He replied, ‘hehe mad. I will call you tonight. I’m just off to my mates in a minute to rehearse some songs for a gig this Saturday. I just jumped on real quick to see if you were on.’ I was beyond flattered. My instincts told me he was thinking of me when he came online. So, when he confirmed that, it gave me goose bumps, butterflies, you name it. I honestly thought I did not make a mistake by giving him my number.

It was 11pm, and he texted me asking if I was awake. I said I was, even though I was in bed, half asleep, with the TV on in the background. I felt really comfortable with him, so I was willing to lose a little sleep to have a chat. Plus, I was excited to hear his voice for the first time.

February 22^nd, 2007.

We spoke every single night, except for the nights he had a gig. As of that night though, he started asking if he could come over and see me.

‘I am so sorry, but you can’t. I have really strict parents. They would murder me if I brought a guy home.’ I even told him stories of how strict my parents really were, such as times when they would pick me up from parties way earlier than any other parent. Or, the time my friends wanted to go to Chadstone for shopping, and because my mum didn’t trust me, she would hang with us.

‘They don’t need to know I’m there. I can hang outside your window,’ he giggled. He kept persisting, and considering how reassuring he was about how quiet and sneaky he would be, I gave in. I didn’t want to lose him. If I kept saying ‘no’, would he still want to come see me? I didn’t want him to get over me, so I had to be a little more open to what he wanted to do. I guess, I was in it too deep by then and I would do anything to keep his attention. So now, not only did he have my number, but he had my address, too.

11pm that night, he said he was on his way. I walked around the house to see where everybody was. My dad was in bed in my parent’s room, which is located near the front door. So, there was no chance I was going to let him in from there. My mum was still awake in the living room near the back door, watching TV. There was also no chance I would have been able to bring him in from the back door.

He called 15 minutes later asking where the window to my room was. Thankfully, we lived in a single story house so it wasn’t too high for either of us to look at each other directly. I directed him to the side of my house, but he decided to crawl through the neighbour’s yard. I was so afraid of being caught at home, but now I was freaking out that he would be caught by the neighbours. It wasn’t very long before he peeked over the fence, with his phone to his ear. There he was. The guy I’ve been talking to, right there, only metres away. It was rather dark, with only the street lights giving out any sign of light through the side of mine and my neighbour’s home. From what I could see, he was wearing a blue T shirt, he had dark short hair, styled in the middle like a Mohawk, and it looked like he hadn’t shaved for a while. He looked like his photos. He looked handsome. While we continued to look at each other, me from my window, and him from behind my neighbour’s fence, we spoke through the phone. I remember this being the most romantic thing I had ever had happen to me. Basically, it was the only most romantic thing that had ever happened to me. We spoke for a few minutes before, once again, I gave in to my urges and climbed out of my window. I was prepared style wise. I was in my pyjamas before he got there. I changed into my denim short and a singlet, and put my hair down from the bun I had it in. I brushed through it and straightened it real quick to remove any kinks from when it was tied up. I wasn’t ready to show him me at my worst.

I climbed over my neighbour’s fence. He helped me down by grabbing me by my hips. I landed on my feet and jumped at the opportunity to give him a big hug. He packed on the cologne for me. He smelled amazing; very manly. Then I realised I forgot to put on any perfume. All I could hope for is that I didn’t smell bad.

March 19th, 2007.

I thought it would be a one time thing, but since that night, he started coming to see me a little more frequently. It even became more convenient for us when the neighbour decided to knock the fence down to install a new one. On this day we took advantage of the convenience of not having the guard up between us, and he crawled into my room.

How we managed to talk for hours without being heard or even almost caught, I have no idea. It was so nice. I felt so safe and comfortable. No one had ever made me feel that way.

Up until this day, we never kissed. Though the urge was there, we never fell into that temptation. But, this night was different. We were alone. Even with my two sisters, my dad and my mum in all corners of the house, we zoned into a world that was only him and me. We shared our first kiss. It was my first kiss.

April 2^nd, 2007.

I came home and jumped online to see I had received a private message on my MySpace page, from a girl I had never met before, but it sounded like she knew him well. She wrote, ‘Who are you and why are you messaging my boyfriend? Stop messaging him. Thanks.’ My heart began to beat quickly. I needed to know who she was, so I called him straight after reading it.

After a bit of small talk, I said ‘listen, I got this message. Please tell me the truth about who she is.’ I read it word for word to him. He said, ‘oh God, she’s a head doer. It’s my ex. Don’t listen to her and if she messages again, I’ll tell her to fuck off. Just ignore it for now.’ I took his word and ignored the message, and continued to trust him.

to be continued…