–

Sorry I just need a minute. Hol’ up.

–

Okay. Spiderman. No Way Home. Umm. So, where do I begin…?

I couldn’t write a review for Infinity War because it blew me away. Far, far away. It was so brilliantly done; the writing, the delivery, the story, the choreography. Everything about it was too precious to touch. The feeling I had about that movie, being my favourite movie from the Marvel Universe thus far, is the exact same feeling I have about this next instalment of Spiderman. I never thought I’d love a Spiderman movie so deeply, but here I am, in complete awe of what Jon Watts and co. were able to put together.

Now, before I get into it, there may or may not be spoilers. I can’t tell right now. I’m just vomiting it all out onto the keyboard and whatever my brain and fingers feel like putting down, it’s just going to happen, okay!? We cool? Cool.

Spiderman: No Way Home takes us to the exact moment in Far From Home, where Mysterio (Jake Gyllenhaal) revealed to the world that Peter Parker (Tom Holland) is Spiderman. When all three, MJ (Zendaya), Ned (Jacob Batalon) and Peter are not accepted into MIT, feeling responsible, Parker turns to Doctor Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch) to try reverse the moment his identity is revealed and make everyone forget. However, in doing so, he has opened a portable for villains of Spiderman’s from other universes to enter, and basically, I can’t tell you anymore. I’m not even sure if I was allowed to tell you that.

Okay, so huge spoiler ahead, anyway… I’m about to answer the question of whether the other two Spidermen are in this or not…

Can we just stop here for a moment and give Tom Holland a round of applause? Is this guy for real? Is he not the most authentic version and just overall best Peter Parker and Spiderman? I know there’s team Tobey and team Andrew out there, but Tom has definitely taken the lead. And I think this film will cement that when you’re able to properly compare the three, as they stand side to side in this film, fighting their villains. He is in a league of his own. And I get it! Andrew has his thing, and Toby is unique for his version, but there’s something about this Spiderman that makes the whole concept real. I just want to hug the dude and thank him for all that he has brought into this role. He needs an Oscar!

And can we quickly mention the cameo at the beginning? I mean, if you aren’t around the whole Marvel world itself, you won’t recognise the guy with the small glasses and cane. But if you’re all over it, OH.MY.FUCKING.GOD!!!! What does it mean?? Like, how do I mention anything for you people that haven’t watched it. And how have you gone this long without watching it!?

Look, I just can’t get into this anymore. I’m too speechless. I mean I know what I want to say, but then I stop and think back at what I just watched and this all ends up as a big piece of blabbing. You just need to watch it, and if you have watched it, and reading this, most likely you feel the same.

Spiderman: No Way Home is now side to side with Infinity War as my favourite in the Marvel Universe. I fucking can’t wait to see how it continues. If it continues. Fuck! Was that a spoiler too?

Rating: 6/5